the worst part of life.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE JUST WENT WRONG ?

ALRIGHT.
I WILL NOT REALLY ELABORATE HERE BUT I JUST HAVE TO SAY HERE.
I CAN KEEP THE FEELING IN ME NO MORE.
I JUST FEEL SO .... NO WORDS COULD SAY HOW I FEEL.
MYC SONGS ARE MAKING ME SO EMO.

AHH I CAN'T CONTROL MY TEARS ANYMORE.
ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I SHED A TEAR.
WELL NOT THAT LONG BUT EVER SINCE THEN I NEVER SHED A TEAR.
AS I WAS CHATTING ON THE MSN MOMENTS AGO.
HEMAN WAS ASKING ME HOW'S MY LIFE SO FAR.
ITS BEEN SOMETIME SINCE I'VE ASKED MYSELF HOW IS LIFE SO FAR?
YEAH SO I SAT AND THINK.
ASKED HIM WEHTER HE WANTED A WHITE LIE OR A LIE.
HE CHOSES LIE.
WELL, BASICALLY MY ANSWER WAS "I'M VERY HAPPY".
"I'M SUPER DUPERLY KNOW EVERY THING WHAT I'M DOING IN MY LIFE"
"I SMILING EVERY MOMENT'
HIS ANSWER WAS
{I GET IT} {STOP, ENOUGH LA..}

I CAN'T HELPP BUT SITTING AT MY CHAIR HERE AND CRY.
YEAH.
CRYBABY HUH?
I DON'T CARE.
LIFE IS BEEN VERY UNFAIR FOR YOU, AND SAME GOES TO ME TOO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
enough.
i should not treat him like that anymore.
no more.
lets take a step back.
MYE is coming damn near.
i've not even touch my books.
my mind is just not in the mood.
maybe I'm just born stupid.
But i remember mum told me no one is stupid.
its the matter of yourself.
WHATEVER I'M RIGHT NOW. I GOT ONE NE TO BLAME BUT MYSELF.
I'm slowly adapting to life how it should be.
GOD, please give me the strength, thats what I need the most now.
God, do teach me how to be independent.
Oh god.
I think i die.

*had this convo with darling just now.
me: i want to die ah
darling: y urh?
me: i just feel like dying then later wake up .
darling: y??
me: MYE is near. i don't want to take it at all.So die now i don't have to take it then after exam i wake up back.*

well i wish i can do that.
well good night readers.
have a great rest.
i wish you al the best in life.



ilove/missyou,darling.